It's a jungle out there...
Going to the playground these days reminds me of high school except the "cool kids" are slightly saggy and wear gym attire even though they haven't worked out in 3 years. Playgrounds are supposed to be the beginning of our children socializing. It's odd to me as I watch the dynamics of the other children and their parents communicate in this environment.
Here's a small grouping of moms that I seem to always come into contact with at the playground:
1. The Too Many Activities to go to Mom
Kids who are stimulated and go to activities after school stay busy. They also tend to lose out on just being a kid at a park. Everything is timed and scheduled making them lose their freedom. Let them be kids and be late for a practice instead of fitting everything in.
2. The Mother of the Year Mom
Clearly you were athletic when you were younger. We get it. You're super happy playing with your children. Do you want a medal? Will that make you stop being so obnoxious?
3. The I'm not into Parenting Today Moms
Okay ladies, I know it's hard. When you're surrounded by small children and unable to hold an adult conversation on a daily basis you crave it. Please, please I beg you please, just watch your kids in between discussing the last episode of Game of Thrones or how cute the new barista is at Starbucks. My kid is next to your kids who are now spitting into the water fountain. Oh you had no idea? That's not surprising since you've had your back to them for 15 MINUTES. If you're going to do this, do it in someones backyard so I don't have to parent your children too.
4. The Kill all of the Germs Mom
So there's always a mother who has the extra bottles of Purell in their bag. (I tend to be one of these moms.) After every slide or swing being used, do you really need to bring out the antibacterial goods? The kid is small now but around 5 they may start to get embarrassed.
5. The Helicopter Moms
I see you. You tend to be so on top of your kids that it actually causes them to trip and fall because you have no concept of personal space. Playgrounds are panic grounds for these poor women. The kids will fall, show them how to get back up.
6. The Pretend to be a Perfect Mom on Social Media Moms
Look up from your phone. Post that cute photo when they're napping.
There are so many types of parents at the playground, but these stand out to me the most. You might be wondering, "what would my category be?" I'm a little bit of everything depending on the day, my mood and my child's tantrums.
Shout out to ALL of you types of moms. You're all doing what you have to do to get through the day. We're all at different phases and in different moods, just trying to get by without breaking these kids. You accomplished bringing them to the playground and however you want to handle what happens next is all you. I'm not judging (except you, not parenting today moms) but I'm definitely taking notes.... and sketching comics.
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